Saturday, February 28, 2009

Douchebags invade downtown

I just want to know where the normal people downtown have gone tonight. It's like douchebag central down here.

Left work late and headed to the bar at Atlas Global Bistro for eats where I witnessed a drunk woman wearing an unfortunately sleeveless top talk at the top of her lungs about all the racial and economic injustice in America.

To make matters worse she irritated the older guy next to her who was a bona fide asshole (apparently he owns the
shop in Eastern Market that sells all the giant ceramic pots) and he kept antagonizing her. "Let's settle this by who spends more here." Seriously?

Not to be outdone, he exited by making this parting comment, "She just wants some black dick" (because she was a white woman and was with a black man). The most annoying woman in the world had my sympathy by the time he left. At least until she spent the next fifteen minutes bitching about him and crying. She was overserved.

Fortunately that all distracted me from the first part of the evening and the dude who lived at 32 Mile Road and friends next to me clamoring to get the Wings game on television. Their big nights out usually include Fishbones in St. Claire Shores but they'd ventured downtown for the Wings. Their conversations were beyond boring and their clothes even worse. Mock turtlenecks, anyone?

Fortunately some friends came to meet me for a while so I was able to pass the time reasonably well, but when they were ready to leave I had to move on.

Went to the Park Bar as a reflexive action. Loved that the super cute guy from the band
Shoe was bartending, but could not deal with the total douchebaggery that surrounded half the bar. I'm talking fake-n-bake girls with dark eyeliner and chunky hightlights, and guys with gold chains smoking cigars. WTF?

Obviously that wasn't going to work. So I paid the cover to head into Cliff Bell's next door, because that is always such a good scene. Surprise? More douchebags and only a handful of the good folks. I plugged in to blog this and some dude with a backward baseball cap actually tried to surreptitiously take my picture! I think it was the 'stache.

Turnabout is fair play.

I don't know where everyone cool is tonight, it's kind of a disaster. Maybe I will head to D'Mongo's for last-ditch coolness. At least tomorrow night at Cirque there will be fun. I hope.

The FJC always does a good job of being cool. And classy. Ish.

10 comments:

Dylan said...

It was funk night.

Julie said...

SG, it should be lots of fun tonite in the D. The DKC is at Cobo this weekend and you know how fun the dogue people can be. Sounds like their dogues would be much better behaved than those "patrons" you encountered last nite and early into this morning...

jdg said...

I once bought a pot from the eastern market pot store guy. when I was leaving, he handed me his business card and said, "I am the biggest pot dealer in town." And then he WINKED twice like fatty arbuckle. I was all, "yeah you have a lot of pots," and he said, "and I sell pot, too."

I had the fucking kids with me.

Anonymous said...

Supergay. I did detect a glimmer of hope in your latest entry. You describe a conversation that took place in Detroit where an African-American and a White were actually interacting. Wow.

Backintheday

Woodwards Friend said...

Even I know better than to wear a baseball cap at Cliff Bell's in the evening and I'm a total slob about that shit.

SupergayDetroit said...

Funk night would explain the absence of hipsters. I should have been paying attention, I could have gone cuz I loooove me some hipsters!

Julie, I get enough dawgs through my love affair with Canine to Five. The kennel show just gave me another reason to avoid the Cobo area! As if I needed one.

JDG, seriously, this guy was an ASS, as you clearly have seen.

Backintheday, Atlas is the greatest place for sophisticated mixed-race socializing, actually. I really dig that aspect of it, it's so post-Detroit. Come to town and we'll experience it firsthand!

Woodwards Friend ... who are you kidding?

Paul Hue said...

Awesome dispatch, supergay! You're hitting some of my favorite spots.

jdg: Love your icon. Is it Meis?

El Rata Negra said...

that guy from eastern market pottery crap corner is a big piece of donkey snot, used to see him a lot when i'd go to butchers inn and he'd be in there with his nose up in the air about something or other each time. and a backward baseball cap is a sure sign of summers eve douchery...

August said...

Will we be seeing you around Hamtown for the Blowout this weekend?

St Clair Shores has no E at the end of CLAIRE. Come enjoy our Nauti Mile one day...perhaps instead of dinner in Da Clem.

Paul Hue said...

Anybody who cares: On Friday I'm catching the 7pm showing of "Gammorah" at DIA, then off to 1440 Gratiot, across Gratiot from Eastern Market. Live Detroit soul, with drinks and food.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=132936720175

I expect a very low douchebag presence.

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