I am feeling really ambivalent about a lot of things about life in Detroit right now, and I think that’s because I’m avoiding delving in and feeling not ambivalent about it.
This winter weather is really bringing me down, for starters. Sure, it’s pretty to watch out my windows, but it seems to have brought life downtown to a standstill. Which is fine for a weekend but for two months? I am probably more sensitive to it because my livelihood depends in part on people’s willingness to come downtown. But if the recession and collapse of the auto industry weren’t dampening things enough, this weather is only making it worse.
I’ve never minded winter that much until the past two years. Last year I didn’t hate it until my car was disabled during a theft attempt and I had to walk to work for a couple weeks on insanely bumpy icy sidewalks. That’s when I learned why people walk in the streets in Detroit, at least in the winter.
So what has brought me to hate it again this year? Well aside from the extended effect on downtown visitation, my car got broken into again on Friday night so I’m back to hoofin’ it to work.
Now I know you are thinking “what the fuck?” and you would be right. I don’t even know how many times my car has been broken into at this point. This was another theft attempt so the car is disabled and towed for repairs.
At this point I think a little “blame the victim” is probably in order. I should have started using The Club after time number three or four. But it’s just so ghetto, I was resistant. Plus after I get my car back from repairs I always forget to go buy one until it was too late at night or I was in the middle of some other activity. I have no idea what they cost so I just imagined that they were probably hundreds of dollars and I couldn’t work that into my budget.
Now, with my car in repairs again and me cutting across Lafayette Plaisance in knee-deep snow, I think we can safely say: lesson learned. I will bend to the ghetto.
Of course with an insurance deductible to pay and a Club to purchase and with me being about three cans of chunk light (yes that’s right, not even albacore) tuna away from a diet of cat food, it’s gonna be some pretty boring times around here. I’m just giving you a heads up.
My friends and I always have these intermittent periods of feeling like we need to get out of here, but we always come back to loving it. I’ve always found when I feel frustrated about Detroit I need to spend time with the people I’ve met here who make it so exciting and that usually leaves me feeling reinvigorated. Lately, however, whenever I get together with my friends we end up talking about how the bad economy is affecting us, how bleak it feels here, and how much worse will it get. For once everyone seems to be having their rough patch at the same time.
I don’t need to have everything perfect, but I want to live someplace where I can actually make a living and have some fun. And where I am not assaulted with ugly and cigarette smoke every time I leave the house. After the New Year I was texting with a friend of mine and I said, “I really need something to go my way this year.” He wrote back, “It will. Unless karma is real … then u r fuct.”
The latest car thing got me thinking that maybe I’m fuct. If 2009 dishes up more of 2008, I'm not sure how much I've got left in me for Detroit.